Deliberate and Disciplined

The winds of change are blowing again. I don't know if it's this time of year where the rush of Christmas finally subsides and the Lent season draws near encouraging all Christians to discipline themselves. I'm feeling it. It may seem like I have it all together but I don't and it's nobody's fault but mine. As my dh gets busier and busier with church, school and civic commitments, I tend to feel left out, lonely and sometimes trapped. I'm at a standstill right now. I know what I could be doing and I know the benefits of doing it, I just don't have the discipline to do it. It being everything I should be doing. : )

Balance for me seems to be unattainable goal. If I try to achieve balance I seem to tip the scale in either direction. This is my goal for this year, achieve balance. Thankfully, I'm not talking about balancing work and home, my home is my work. I just have SO many projects I'd like to do, plus the daily housework, time spent homeschooling and playing with the kids. There are some nights that I feel like I'm the only one doing it all. Dh comes home and just wants to decompress. This isn't something that reading a book can help, I've read them. This can only change through prayer and a commitment to change. I want to be very deliberate about how I spend my time, how I manage our home but I've found being deliberate also means being disciplined.

I'm dropping all my projects right now until I can find a way to deliberately do them without it being the at the expense of something more important. I'm still praying and thinking about all this.