An Ending and A Beginning

My first term of college is ending tomorrow and Monday starts a new term with one class. I've been juggling three classes this term and I'm burnt out. I need a break and time to settle into our new life with the kids being in school and moving into a new place.

I am so stinking excited to be moving into our own place, but I'm a little timid about it too. To be able to get our stuff out of storage and make a place for ourselves...to live by ourselves. Moving in with family should be a short-term solution, enough said about that.

Work is going well, I really enjoy my job and the people I work with. A co-worker just got promoted and I'm very happy for her, she's only been there a year and it's encouraging to see her moving upward and onward.

Dating has been interesting. I've learned so much about myself by dating others lately. I met someone that I was very attracted to and we dated for about two months but I realized the relationship wasn't what I wanted. Instead of settling, I said goodbye. It was hard, especially knowing that if I just accepted the circumstances, we could be together but I wouldn't be happy. I've learned a lot about chemistry and what I'm attracted to in another person. I've learned a lot about myself and some the pitfalls I've fallen into in the past and how to avoid them now. That is huge. So I can be sad about the ending of one relationship but excited about what could be and what's to come.

A few things I've learned:

1. You cannot change anyone.
Either accept them as they are or move on. Furthermore, do not date anyone who wishes to change you. Change comes from within a person, it cannot be external.

2. Keep your autonomy.
Dating someone doesn't mean becoming the person they want, it means being yourself and allowing the other person to be themself. I have a ton of responsibilities and a full life outside of dating, if the person who wants to date me doesn't understand that, then we can't date. Very simple. I don't expect anyone to drop their life for me either, or would I want them to.

3. Stay realistic.
It is so easy to become idealistic when you're excited about someone else. I've learned to keep my eyes and ears open to what is happening, to not become more invested than is necessary for the situation.

4. Know what you want.
This has been the hardest part for me, but knowing what type of relationship I'm looking for has helped tremendously. It helps narrow down the field.

5. Have fun.
No explanation needed.

New

Almost everything life right now is new. Bright, shiny, new...isn't that grand? New job (been there 2 months, maybe not so new), new lifestyle (single mom), new school (college online) and a few other 'new's. One for sure is that the kids and I are moving into our own place next month and the kids are starting private school on Monday.

I'm on top of the world right now, stressed and getting stuff done continously, feeling behind but still approaching everything with a smile and confidence that it will all get done. I've dated which has had its ups and downs, met some fabulous people and been able to let my hair down a little and have some fun. I think I forgot how to do that for the longest time and I'm making up some of that lost time.

My first term in college is almost over, I'm in Week 7 of 8 weeks and next is Algebra and Business Computer Skills. I picked out a new mattress yesterday and in the next couple of weeks, all of our stuff will be moved from my parents' house and our rented storage unit to our own apartment. I can't wait. To walk around in my own space, to be able to spend time with the kids without interference (did I just say that).

I haven't really had a chance to cook in the last 5 months, so that will be interesting, especially with my budget. Can you say rice and beans? Lol. Life is good and getting better every day.

I miss them.

The kids have been gone all week and Camille won't be coming back until next week. I miss them terribly. A part of my heart is missing, a part of my daily life. I haven't had them BOTH gone at the same time for this length of time. I've enjoyed my time but it's time for them to be back!

I've got so much to do today, and gasp-I'm even loading up books to take to the thrift store because I have no energy or time to sell them online. I just want them gone, easy peasy. I'm shopping for school supplies and uniforms...I cannot believe that. Camille just turned nine, I cannot believe that either. Lol. We're celebrating her birthday when she gets back from her grandparents'.

I've spent this past week truly evaluating our life, what is good, what can be improved, what steps I need to take, what I feel the kids' need, etc. I got wrapped up in wanting to move out but after crunching the numbers for the 100th time, I can't. Not yet and I'm not foolish enough (thankfully) to take that step without some serious security and stability financially. I'm a highly passionate person and once I set my sights on a goal, watch out- I will obtain it. I needed to refocus on the goals I've already set instead of creating new ones. Hey, I get bored sometimes in the middle of obtaining an already set goal, especially if it is a long term one.

Gazelle intensity...I'm going to reread Total Money Makeover and get motivated again. It's hard. I've lost more weight and my clothes are falling off me- while that's good- it's not good for my wallet. I'm going to wait until I literally cannot wear the clothes I have before buying more, altering the current clothes I have may be the best way to overcome buying more clothes, too bad I don't know how to sew myself! Geesh, I guess I wasn't such a super homeschooler after all, I can't sew or bake bread. Lol.

Goodness!

Goodness, this blog. It feels like a world away sometimes, a different life. The kids are about to spend over a week with other family members and I'm in 3 classes for college, working full-time and trying very hard to balance it all with a bit of a social life.

I'm in new territory in almost every area of my life, it's not always easy to know what the right way is, it seems like a constant battle to stick my arms out and balance myself. My emotions are rampant right now, everything is going so well but I'm a thinker. Those that read this blog know that I always have multiple things going on and that hasn't changed. My mind doesn't stop. I would love to blame it on being a woman but I know that's not the case, I've been told repeatedly lately to slow down, stop taking every so seriously or being so hard on myself by other women!

What I find utterly amazing is that I know myself. I know myself better than I thought I did. I need time to reflect, focus and refocus. I need silence sometimes and just BE without thinking about this, that or anything. I give everything my all and while that would be draining to others, it's freeing for me. I need time to reflect and write, something else that I've learned about myself...by spending time away from this blog. Unfortunately, I'm not willing or able to write everything here- somethings are meant to be personal.

I love music. Love, love, love music. I love rocking out while I work out, I love turning on a favorite cd and cleaning, and I feel a deep satisfaction from belting out songs in my car while driving down the road. I keep a 'theme' song in my mind, one that I can sing to myself when the mood strikes and currently it's my ring tone on my cell phone.

It's perfect for me, right now.

The Middle

Written by by Jimmy Eat World

Hey, don't write yourself off yet

It's only in your headYou feel left out

or looked down on

Just try your best,

try everything you can

And don't you worry what they tell themselves

When you're away

It just takes some time, little girl

You're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be all right, all right

Hey, you know they're all the same

You know you're doing better on your own

So don't buy in, live right now

Yeah, just be yourself

It doesn't matter if that's good enough

for someone else

It just takes some time, little girl

You're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be all right, all right

It just takes some time, little girl

You're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be all right, all right

Hey, don't write yourself off yet

It's only in your head

You feel left out or looked down on

Just do your best, do everything you can

And don't you worry what the bitter hearts

are gonna say

It just takes some time, little girl

You're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be all right, all right

Exhale. I'm moving on now to do my physical science work for college. Camille is reading Doctor Doolittle and Danny is getting better at writing his letters. We're doing fine, even better than fine...

Things I'd love to do...

I was looking at upcoming events and these are definitely things I'd love to do. Charleston Harbourfest is coming up next weekend but I'm not sure how much fun it would be with a massive crowd. I'm still thinking about it.


Blues & BBQ Harbor
Cruises
06/25/2009
07/09/2009
07/23/2009
Location: Aboard the Carolina BelleAddress: Maritime Center, 10 Wharfside St.
Phone: 843.722.1112
Web Site: http://CharlestonHarborTours.com
Cruise Charleston harbor, enjoy a Home Team BBQ Buffet and hot Live BLUES from Shrimp City Slim.
Tickets: $29.50 + tax. Cash Bar. Book online or call 843.722.1112 or 800.979.3370
Cruise Dates: 6.25, 7.9, 7.23, 8.6, 8.20, 9.3, 9.24, 10.1, 10.15, 10.29.


Rockin on the Point
6/19/2009
07/03/2009
07/10/2009
07/17/2009
07/24/2009

Location: The Charleston Harbor Resort & MarinaAddress: Mt. Pleasant, SCROCKIN' ON THE POINT 2009 at The Charleston Harbor Resort & Marina at Patriots Point in Mt. Pleasant. Rockin On The Point formerly know as "Party At The Point" starts at 5:30 PM and continues until 9:30 PM.

Bands start between 6:00 - 6:30pm Bring your own chairs, Bring your own blankets, Cash at the door Credit inside for food and drinks Food and drink tickets re-usable No outside food or drinks Starting May 1, Happy Hour w $2.00 Bud Light Draft Beer Jun 5 - Occasional Milkshake Jun 12 - East Coast Party Band Jun 19 - Cravin Melon Jul 3 - Playlist Jul 10 - Virginia Coalition w/Simplified Jul 17 - PlaneJane Jul 24 - Carolina Studios Fundraiser

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
at Sottile Theatre, Charleston, SC
September 9th - September 20th, 2009
Lyrics by Tim Rice Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber

Go Go Go Joe! The Rock ‘N Roll Story Of Joseph And His Coat Of Many Colors Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s mega-musical of the Biblical saga of Joseph and his coat of many colors has been delighting audiences around the world for almost 40 years. Set to an engaging cornucopia of musical styles, from country-western to rock to calypso and bubble-gum pop, this Old Testament tale emerges as both timely and timeless. It’s a dream ticket—the perfect musical for the entire family. Get your tickets today!

Footlight Players
Rumors by Neil Simon (Comedic Farce)What is supposed to be an anniversary party for friends turns into a wild night of zany adventures for four posh couples. An attempted suicide (or is it?), a missing wife, a damaged car, recurring back spasms and rumors galore add to the comedic mayhem of one of Neil Simon’s funniest plays. With delicious humor the circumstances get progressively worse when the press and police get involved and nobody can remember who has been told what about whom. Recommended age: 18+ Playing August 28 through September 13, 2009. Individual Ticket Prices: $25 adult, $22 senior, $15 student.

Annoyance by Sam BobrickWriter Sam Bobrick (The Andy Griffith Show, Get Smart, The Flintstones and creator of the hit tv series Saved By The Bell) goes into annoyance mode for this side-splitting comedic play. Annoyance follows a very annoying man who goes to see two therapists with the hope of becoming less annoying. However, in his pursuit of mental stability hedrives them both to maddening heights.Playing October 1 through 10, 2009. All Tickets $10 Thursday and $15 Friday & Saturday.

I love looking at the calendar and making a list of things to go do, something to look forward to always helps!

Father's Day

A Boy and His Dad
by Edgar Guest

A boy and his dad on a fishing-trip—
There is a glorious fellowship!
Father and son and the open sky
And the white clouds lazily drifting by,
And the laughing stream as it runs along
With the clicking reel like a martial song,
And the father teaching the youngster gay
How to land a fish in the sportsman's way.

I fancy I hear them talking there
In an open boat, and the speech is fair.
And the boy is learning the ways of men
From the finest man in his youthful ken.
Kings, to the youngster, cannot compare
With the gentle father who's with him there.
And the greatest mind of the human race
Not for one minute could take his place.
Which is happier, man or boy?

The soul of the father is steeped in joy,
For he's finding out, to his heart's delight,
That his son is fit for the future fight.
He is learning the glorious depths of him,
And the thoughts he thinks and his every whim;
And he shall discover, when night comes on,
How close he has grown to his little son.

A boy and his dad on a fishing-trip—
Builders of life's companionship!
Oh, I envy them, as I see them there
Under the sky in the open air,
For out of the old, old long-ago
Come the summer days that I used to know,
When I learned life's truths from my father's lips
As I shared the joy of his fishing-trips.

Glowing

Not so shy anymore with photos. Documenting all the good changes.