What a different life I lead than last year! The kids are doing well at private school but due to finances, next year they will go to public school. This year has flown by and it's been a rollercoaster ride- there have been thrilling hills climbed and thankfully only small downhills. For the most part it's been a boring rollercoaster and I couldn't be MORE thankful for that.
Just to recap during this time last year, I was working a part-time job at night to save money to leave and divorce my ex while homeschooling Camille during the day and Danny was going to a Montessori preschool. It was a tumultuous and stressful time but I felt positive because I was being proactive. I was in counseling and had just finished reading Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.
From January to March it was lawyers, juggling responsibilities and being unsure about what the future would hold for us. The kids and I moved in with my parents so I could get my feet back under me to support us after staying at home for 4 years. I worked as a retail manager until June when it was apparent that type of job was not best for me or the kids. I couldn't work 3-10pm one day and 7am-3pm the next. The kids would be starting school in July and I needed something more stable for them and myself. I was very blessed to find a job at a bank and be able to make a job change while most people couldn't find any work. (Let me rephrase that, couldn't find work that they wanted to do.)
It was also in June that I decided to date again, after a few horrible blind dates, I met a police officer who was a transplant from New Hampshire. I'm a Navy brat with two Northern parents, I was raised in the south. The good ole southern gentlemen with their thick accents, sole-minded interest in trucks, hunting, fishing, golf, southern football and beer just do not interest me, so Brian was a refreshing change. He had goals he was trying to accomplish just as I did and we did well to stay mindful of that. The time spent with Brian was good, I learned a lot about myself during the month and half that we dated while the kids were gone. Our road divided and we've gone our separate ways, he's still going after his goals and doing well. We're friends now and check in with each other every now and then.
My private dating life took a fabulous turn when I met Michael. I really didn't want to date him at all, he shares the same name as my ex. That was a HUGE factor against him and it took me a month to finally answer him. When we met, I had this insane urge to run my fingers through his hair (which I didn't do at that time) and I felt immediately at ease with him.
I hesitate writing anything about him, I don't want to sound like lovesick schoolgirl. I am in the best relationship I've ever had in my life. When two people accept each other as they are and celebrate each other's strengths - there is nothing else more precious. We've both had troubled relationships in the past and learned our lessons, with each other we're very conscious of what both of us needs. We are different in a lot of ways, such as I'm a planner and he's not. For some that wouldn't work but he appreciates knowing someone is thinking ahead and I appreciate the spontaneity that can occur when there isn't a plan or even the deviation from the plan. I'm pretty spontaneous myself but it works because we're both easy-going.
I could go on and on about how wonderful we are together. I could mention all the things I appreciate about him and all the benefits of being with someone who really understands you and wants the best for you, someone who respects and admires you even after they've seen you at your worst. Someone you can't wait to see at the end of the day, someone who you're comfortable just being with without feeling like you have to say or do something to make them happy. A healthy give and take relationship. Finally.
After 3 months, we still haven't had a fight or argument. We discuss things, we talk before anything escalates, we know when each other is upset and we both strive to take care of each other. I'm still blown away that he knows I'm upset before I utter a word. It's nice to have someone know you that well, it's what I've always wanted and never had. It can be frustrating too, I'm not used to having it all hang out there but I'm getting used to it. I guess that sums up my view of our relationship, I'm finally getting what I've always wanted and never had and it takes some adjustment and personal acceptance. Past relationship demons are taking their rest and being left where they belong, in the past.
To be able to give my all with someone who gives their all to me, there's nothing better. I'm in awe of the power of our relationship and now understand what others meant when they talked about their relationship with the same sentiments while I cynically secretly believed they were exaggerating the truth in some way because there's no way they can be THAT happy and content with another human being. They must have problems they aren't talking about. Now I'm part of one of those sickening, wonderful, loving relationships and I thank my lucky stars every day.
I'm ending 2009, happy and contentedly blessed in ways I never would have imagined or dreamed. It's been one helluva year and I can't wait to see what next year holds in store for us!
I'm trying to decide if I'm going to revamp this blog or just let it be as it is. While we still love nature study, we're no longer a homeschooling family, we're no longer Trivium Academy. We'll see.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
2009 Recap
Saturday, August 29, 2009
An Ending and A Beginning
My first term of college is ending tomorrow and Monday starts a new term with one class. I've been juggling three classes this term and I'm burnt out. I need a break and time to settle into our new life with the kids being in school and moving into a new place.
I am so stinking excited to be moving into our own place, but I'm a little timid about it too. To be able to get our stuff out of storage and make a place for ourselves...to live by ourselves. Moving in with family should be a short-term solution, enough said about that.
Work is going well, I really enjoy my job and the people I work with. A co-worker just got promoted and I'm very happy for her, she's only been there a year and it's encouraging to see her moving upward and onward.
The kids are doing well, growing everyday and the changes in them is apparent. Overall, we're all happier and content.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
New
Almost everything life right now is new. Bright, shiny, new...isn't that grand? New job (been there 2 months, maybe not so new), new lifestyle (single mom), new school (college online) and a few other 'new's. One for sure is that the kids and I are moving into our own place next month and the kids are starting private school on Monday.
I'm on top of the world right now, stressed and getting stuff done continously, feeling behind but still approaching everything with a smile and confidence that it will all get done. I've dated which has had its ups and downs, met some fabulous people and been able to let my hair down a little and have some fun. I think I forgot how to do that for the longest time and I'm making up some of that lost time.
My first term in college is almost over, I'm in Week 7 of 8 weeks and next is Algebra and Business Computer Skills. I picked out a new mattress yesterday and in the next couple of weeks, all of our stuff will be moved from my parents' house and our rented storage unit to our own apartment. I can't wait. To walk around in my own space, to be able to spend time with the kids without interference (did I just say that).
I haven't really had a chance to cook in the last 5 months, so that will be interesting, especially with my budget. Can you say rice and beans? Lol. Life is good and getting better every day.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
I miss them.
The kids have been gone all week and Camille won't be coming back until next week. I miss them terribly. A part of my heart is missing, a part of my daily life. I haven't had them BOTH gone at the same time for this length of time. I've enjoyed my time but it's time for them to be back!
I've got so much to do today, and gasp-I'm even loading up books to take to the thrift store because I have no energy or time to sell them online. I just want them gone, easy peasy. I'm shopping for school supplies and uniforms...I cannot believe that. Camille just turned nine, I cannot believe that either. Lol. We're celebrating her birthday when she gets back from her grandparents'.
I've spent this past week truly evaluating our life, what is good, what can be improved, what steps I need to take, what I feel the kids' need, etc. I got wrapped up in wanting to move out but after crunching the numbers for the 100th time, I can't. Not yet and I'm not foolish enough (thankfully) to take that step without some serious security and stability financially. I'm a highly passionate person and once I set my sights on a goal, watch out- I will obtain it. I needed to refocus on the goals I've already set instead of creating new ones. Hey, I get bored sometimes in the middle of obtaining an already set goal, especially if it is a long term one.
Gazelle intensity...I'm going to reread Total Money Makeover and get motivated again. It's hard. I've lost more weight and my clothes are falling off me- while that's good- it's not good for my wallet. I'm going to wait until I literally cannot wear the clothes I have before buying more, altering the current clothes I have may be the best way to overcome buying more clothes, too bad I don't know how to sew myself! Geesh, I guess I wasn't such a super homeschooler after all, I can't sew or bake bread. Lol.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Goodness!
Goodness, this blog. It feels like a world away sometimes, a different life. The kids are about to spend over a week with other family members and I'm in 3 classes for college, working full-time and trying very hard to balance it all with a bit of a social life.
I'm in new territory in almost every area of my life, it's not always easy to know what the right way is, it seems like a constant battle to stick my arms out and balance myself. My emotions are rampant right now, everything is going so well but I'm a thinker. Those that read this blog know that I always have multiple things going on and that hasn't changed. My mind doesn't stop. I would love to blame it on being a woman but I know that's not the case, I've been told repeatedly lately to slow down, stop taking every so seriously or being so hard on myself by other women!
What I find utterly amazing is that I know myself. I know myself better than I thought I did. I need time to reflect, focus and refocus. I need silence sometimes and just BE without thinking about this, that or anything. I give everything my all and while that would be draining to others, it's freeing for me. I need time to reflect and write, something else that I've learned about myself...by spending time away from this blog. Unfortunately, I'm not willing or able to write everything here- somethings are meant to be personal.
I love music. Love, love, love music. I love rocking out while I work out, I love turning on a favorite cd and cleaning, and I feel a deep satisfaction from belting out songs in my car while driving down the road. I keep a 'theme' song in my mind, one that I can sing to myself when the mood strikes and currently it's my ring tone on my cell phone.
It's perfect for me, right now.
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It just takes some time, little girl
Hey, you know they're all the same
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Things I'd love to do...
I was looking at upcoming events and these are definitely things I'd love to do. Charleston Harbourfest is coming up next weekend but I'm not sure how much fun it would be with a massive crowd. I'm still thinking about it.
Blues & BBQ Harbor
Cruises
06/25/2009
07/09/2009
07/23/2009
Location: Aboard the Carolina BelleAddress: Maritime Center, 10 Wharfside St.
Phone: 843.722.1112
Web Site: http://CharlestonHarborTours.com
Cruise Charleston harbor, enjoy a Home Team BBQ Buffet and hot Live BLUES from Shrimp City Slim.
Tickets: $29.50 + tax. Cash Bar. Book online or call 843.722.1112 or 800.979.3370
Cruise Dates: 6.25, 7.9, 7.23, 8.6, 8.20, 9.3, 9.24, 10.1, 10.15, 10.29.
Rockin on the Point
6/19/2009
07/03/2009
07/10/2009
07/17/2009
07/24/2009
Location: The Charleston Harbor Resort & MarinaAddress: Mt. Pleasant, SCROCKIN' ON THE POINT 2009 at The Charleston Harbor Resort & Marina at Patriots Point in Mt. Pleasant. Rockin On The Point formerly know as "Party At The Point" starts at 5:30 PM and continues until 9:30 PM.
Bands start between 6:00 - 6:30pm Bring your own chairs, Bring your own blankets, Cash at the door Credit inside for food and drinks Food and drink tickets re-usable No outside food or drinks Starting May 1, Happy Hour w $2.00 Bud Light Draft Beer Jun 5 - Occasional Milkshake Jun 12 - East Coast Party Band Jun 19 - Cravin Melon Jul 3 - Playlist Jul 10 - Virginia Coalition w/Simplified Jul 17 - PlaneJane Jul 24 - Carolina Studios Fundraiser
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
at Sottile Theatre, Charleston, SC
September 9th - September 20th, 2009
Lyrics by Tim Rice Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Go Go Go Joe! The Rock ‘N Roll Story Of Joseph And His Coat Of Many Colors Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s mega-musical of the Biblical saga of Joseph and his coat of many colors has been delighting audiences around the world for almost 40 years. Set to an engaging cornucopia of musical styles, from country-western to rock to calypso and bubble-gum pop, this Old Testament tale emerges as both timely and timeless. It’s a dream ticket—the perfect musical for the entire family. Get your tickets today!
Footlight Players
Rumors by Neil Simon (Comedic Farce)What is supposed to be an anniversary party for friends turns into a wild night of zany adventures for four posh couples. An attempted suicide (or is it?), a missing wife, a damaged car, recurring back spasms and rumors galore add to the comedic mayhem of one of Neil Simon’s funniest plays. With delicious humor the circumstances get progressively worse when the press and police get involved and nobody can remember who has been told what about whom. Recommended age: 18+ Playing August 28 through September 13, 2009. Individual Ticket Prices: $25 adult, $22 senior, $15 student.
Annoyance by Sam BobrickWriter Sam Bobrick (The Andy Griffith Show, Get Smart, The Flintstones and creator of the hit tv series Saved By The Bell) goes into annoyance mode for this side-splitting comedic play. Annoyance follows a very annoying man who goes to see two therapists with the hope of becoming less annoying. However, in his pursuit of mental stability hedrives them both to maddening heights.Playing October 1 through 10, 2009. All Tickets $10 Thursday and $15 Friday & Saturday.
I love looking at the calendar and making a list of things to go do, something to look forward to always helps!
Father's Day
There is a glorious fellowship!
Father and son and the open sky
And the white clouds lazily drifting by,
And the laughing stream as it runs along
With the clicking reel like a martial song,
And the father teaching the youngster gay
How to land a fish in the sportsman's way.
I fancy I hear them talking there
In an open boat, and the speech is fair.
And the boy is learning the ways of men
From the finest man in his youthful ken.
Kings, to the youngster, cannot compare
With the gentle father who's with him there.
And the greatest mind of the human race
Not for one minute could take his place.
Which is happier, man or boy?
For he's finding out, to his heart's delight,
That his son is fit for the future fight.
He is learning the glorious depths of him,
And the thoughts he thinks and his every whim;
And he shall discover, when night comes on,
How close he has grown to his little son.
A boy and his dad on a fishing-trip—
Builders of life's companionship!
Oh, I envy them, as I see them there
Under the sky in the open air,
For out of the old, old long-ago
Come the summer days that I used to know,
When I learned life's truths from my father's lips
As I shared the joy of his fishing-trips.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Two Letters
I've received two letters as of late, one welcoming me to the bank that I'm working at starting Monday and my acceptance letter to Florida Institute of Technology. I'm a matriculated student now.
A friend voiced concern on whether or not I'll be able to handle working full-time, college work and taking care of myself and the kids. I've weighed all the pros and cons long before the conversation but my confidence faltered for a minute because I know I'm not just working on those things but trying to become financially healthy and working out at the gym to become physically healthy. Add finding church to the mix and yes it seems like a lot but it's all part of the new life for us.
Working- absolutely essential.
College- not absolutely essential but needed in order to advance at work and give me something to do because I always have to have a project. (Really, I do.)
Gym- provides a constructive activity for both the kids and myself with positive results- I consider this absolutely essential. Scheduling the time to GO is what is a little tricky but working out daily is essential even if I do some at home and only go to the gym 2-3x a week. The kids have activities to do at the gym when we all go.
Financial goals- This requires the most sacrifice but also the largest payoff, essential for being able to provide more stability and security later.
Church- Need for spiritual nourishment and socialization for all of us.
Work and college are about to start, my new job starts Monday and college will officially start in July but I'll be able to work a little ahead, at least by reading the textbooks for my classes. They are starting me in Art Appreciation and Physical Science. I'm thrilled! For two years I've been thinking about going back to college but I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Now that I know, it's freeing.
With everything it will be a juggle, no doubt. It'll be worth it...right? Lol. I'll need to come back and reread this when I'm ready to pull my hair out a few months from now.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Big Church
Big churches just aren’t my style. I realized that today as I sat in a Sunday School for 30-40 year olds with younger children. There were two elevators in the church! Amongst the hundreds of faces I saw today only the kids’ Sunday School teachers introduced themselves to me.
Ideally, I would like a medium size church, 150-250 people, with children’s programs and a Wednesday night fellowship supper. A weeknight Bible study with childcare provided would be icing on the cake.
Another thought I had while I was there is what can I give? I don’t have time or money and I cringed when I thought about tithing. They were asking for donations of time and money and I sat there realizing that I have very little of either. I was hoping to meet new people and find a new community but I’m not sure the BIG church is where I’ll find it at. The search is on…
Friday, May 22, 2009
It had to be done.
I just updated my 2009 goal list and lo and behold, I changed the post and backslid! I had to get a new computer, after assessing the computer I have, it doesn't meet the minimum requirements of my college. Something about running PC programs on a 2004 Mac just won't work and Microsoft Word is required. Sigh. I created new debt. (Whispering-Sorry Dave!)
When I told my mother of my disappointment (one- being having to use a PC over a Mac, two- acquiring new debt) she laughed and said, "You'll be in debt anyways with the student loans!" Bigger SIGH. Technically I don't have a student loan yet but it looks like it will be a necessary evil.
The length of time until I shout 'I'm Debt-Free!' just became a little longer, esp. with student loans on the horizon. Optimal situation is to pay off all the consumer debt and then pay off the student loans BEFORE graduation.
It'll work out. I have faith.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
2009 Goals
Updating what I wrote at the beginning of the year, again.
Educationally
1. Start college for Summer 2009 session, working towards a Bachelor's in Business Administration.
Status: Done, enrolled at Florida Institute of Technology for Summer 2 Term!
2. Study college level math to help with placement test. Life of Fred?
In the process of doing...
Personally
1. Reduce, reuse and recycle! Declutter our home and be ruthless about what to keep, sell or donate.
(Done but still in progress)
2. Pay off my personal debt by December 2009 via The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey- no new debt!
On track, two bills paid off, one to go!
3. Take time off, from everything at least every two weeks if unable to do it weekly.
Still working on this, just switched jobs and have taken two weeks in between jobs to spend quality time with the kids.
4. Exercise for good health. Joined a gym and going every week.
5. Eat better, smaller portions. Done, only eating minimal bread which has helped.
Professionally
1. Train for higher positions but maintain a healthy viewpoint of my current position.
2. Work on calming my body while in confrontations. My face turns red even though I'm not mentally stressed and I have my composure.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
A Fun Day
We went to Charles Towne Landing yesterday and had a blast. It's the first real field trip we've had in months and the kids and I enjoyed it immensely. We watched the otter for over 30 minutes, what a playful animal! We saw bison, white-tailed deer, a puma and a few other indigenous animals- at the elk habitat, a raccoon was eating the elk's food while the elk sat in the shade without a care in the world. The kids kept yelling to the elk, "A raccoon is eating your food!" The elk just sat there and stared.
Today is Danny's 5th birthday and we're heading out to the South Carolina Aquarium so that the kids can touch stingrays and we're going to explore downtown Charleston.
We started out yesterday going to the aquarium but we passed the sign for Charles Towne Landing on the way and I figured since the weatherman predicted rain all week, we'd better take advantage of the no-rain day. We really felt like our old selves, together exploring a new place and learning about what we saw.
He's 5 now. My little boy is not so little anymore, well to tell the truth he's never been little because he's always been in the 90% percentile of height but he's getting OLDER. He's grown so much in the last year, matured. While living with my parents is not ideal, he's changed so much since we've been here, having a support in parenting makes a huge difference!
I will say that being a divorced mom is not easy, especially when your ex-partner doesn't share the same values as you do. It's an uphill battle that I pray will pay off in the end but in the meantime I get to be the 'pain in the butt'. It is especially hard when one is considering what is best for the child and the other is considering what is best for their wallet. Everything from health insurance to school is a disagreement waiting to happen filled with tension and blame. The only reassuring factor is that we have a legal agreement that outlines what is required. Enforcing the legal agreement is where the 'difficult' part comes in, especially when you're just dealing with the other person's actions or non-actions.
I'm just keeping my eye on our goals and moving forward as positively as I can. Today we're going celebrate Danny's birthday and enjoy being together. We are very blessed and we're going to focus on that.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I'm a college student.
I enrolled in college today, I finally picked one and pulled the trigger. I'm on my way to starting my Associates in Art: Business Administration degree. I also walked out of a hostile work environment tonight and quit one day short of my planned exit. Oh well. It felt good to stand up for myself.
Hee, hee. I'm back in school.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Fits of Laughter and Progress.
There was such an outburst of laughter at the dinner table last night...
Danny: "Mom, I want to ride my bike with sissy around the neighborhood."
Me: "Danny, you're not old enough. When you turn 6 or 7 maybe but you're only 5. Sissy is turning 9." (I even showed him on my fingers)
Grandpa: "Danny, you can ride WITH your sister but not by yourself."
Danny sits there looking at me.
Me: "Danny, I DO NOT want you to ride your bike through the neighborhood with your sister and you won't while I'm home but I can't control what happens when I'm not here!"
My dad burst out in uncontrollable laughter which spurred me and my mom into fits of laughter too. Poor Danny and Camille, they didn't have a clue why we were laughing so much but this little scenario is exactly why I struggle a little at home.
I've been looking at colleges and it's hard to choose. Money is a major factor but I don't want to spend less money on college and actually get less education. It seems that some colleges offer cheaper distance learning because they just facilitate your learning- give you the assignments and it's up to you to learn the material without much teacher guidance or even lectures. It's sort of homeschooling for college. On the opposite end there are colleges that want you to spend ungodly amounts of money to attend their prestigious college for just a year and you don't know if you're paying for the name or the education. It's like shopping Goodwill or Saks 5th Avenue- either way you'll have clothes in the end.
The search continues...
I'm on the 3 day countdown at work, this is day 3 and I have two more to go. What a freeing thought! We're going to church this Sunday. We CAN!
Camille is going to a Girl Scout camp this summer for a week, she's thrilled. It'll be her first time away from her parents at all for that long and I think it's going to be such a milestone in her life.
I have to get ready for work so I'll end here...
Friday, May 8, 2009
I got it!
Wooo-Hoooo!
And I told my current employer today, next week is my last and then I'll have two weeks with the kids before starting the new job.
Big Smiles Here.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Wednesday in May
I'm sitting here willing my phone to ring to hear back from a job interview I went to yesterday. Ring ALREADY! Lol. A teller position at a local bank, I'll be working in the town I live in instead of driving 30-40 minutes away to my current job. Plus, I would be working stable, steady hours. I have my letter of resignation ready to turn in. I'm just waiting to hear, "We'd love for you to come join our team," or "I'm sorry, we've decided not to bring aboard at this time." Ring phone, ring.
Camille is working on Math-U-See while I type, once she's done she will read 10 more pages of Homer Price and then I'll allow her to finish watching the movie, That Darn Cat starring Hayley Mills. We started it last night but it became too late to finish. I treated her to a girls' night out, including dinner at one of my favorite restaurants- a Greek restaurant. Delish!
I'm planning on taking a week or two off in-between jobs if I get the teller position. It starts June 1st and if I turn in my two weeks' notice this week, I'll have time to take the kids to the beach and enjoy some time off. I've been stressed and go, go, go for the last 6 months, not really taking any time off. Even when I'm not working, I'm working or doing errands. Time has buzzed by me as I've rushed to take care of this or that. I miss homeschooling, I miss being home with the kids everyday and exploring at our leisure. I feel like I instantly changed lives with someone and I know I cannot go back to what we were doing but some balance would be nice. This new job would give us that instead of having to work 2-10pm one day and 8am-4pm the next.
Living with my parents has its perks but it also has it cons. It's hard feeling like you're 15 years old again while you have adult responsibilities and concerns! Lol. My main problem is that I don't have a social outlet as of yet other than going to the gym and I'm not at the gym to socialize anyways. I don't want to take away anymore time from the kids or make my parents responsible for the kids when I'm off work. The guilt. Oh man, the guilt. For 6 years, I've been a pastor's wife- now I'm not. For 3 years, I was a homeschooling mother. Now I'm not.
What am I now? A divorced, working mother. I'm still getting used to that. Especially when strangers want to tell me about Jesus. I used to say, "thank you, I'm pastor's wife" and we'd move on from the good news to chatting but now I can't say that. I guess I'm having identity issues, lol.
Come on phone....RING!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Almost a month later...
Almost a month later since my last post, wow. I still haven't found my camera so I don't have any new pictures although there were opportunities that I wish I would have captured.
The kids saw a garter snake and we watched it for a while. I joined a gym and the kids have karate lessons through the gym now and yesterday was their first day. It was fun watching them trying to mimic the other kids, because it is a drop-in program they have to be there consistently before being considered there for the karate lessons. They both enjoyed it and I got my 1 hour workout in while they were punching and kicking in another room.
I'm working out. The gym wants you to hire one of their trainers so they give you two free sessions and I did two consecutive days of working out with my torture-trainer. He pushed me and I was sore, barely able to walk due to the pain shooting through my legs the day after but two days later I went back after the soreness had subsided. I've been working out on my own and I finally found a book to help understand and navigate through a workout. It's called Strength Training by Lee E. Brown, published by the National Strength & Conditioning Association. While it doesn't cover aerobics or cardio, it covers the area I feel I need the most help (the area where I feel I need a personal trainer but cannot afford one)- strength training.
I'm doing 5-10 minutes on the treadmill to warm-up, next, floor exercises with a 15 lb. weight bar (deadlifts, squats, lunges) and the stability ball with 5 lb. dumbells (crunches, lifts) then working on the various weight machines for 12-15 reps each before finishing my workout with 10-20 minutes of cardio. I switch up my ending cardio with the elliptical machine, cycling, and treadmill. I hilariously tried the stair-stepper yesterday but gave up after 4 minutes and went to the cycle. I can't say I'm 100% comfortable doing my floor exercises in front of everyone in the co-ed area, but I push myself to do it because I will not allow my lack of self-confidence to undermine my workout.
Today I'm going to try a butt/ab class in the women's area of the gym. I would never have thought that I would LOVE going to the gym or pushing myself physically in this way. It's so much different than exercising at home, you have people all around doing the same things you're doing. You have a purpose for being there and motivation is all around you as well as people who are where you are and those who are where you want to be. I'm feeling great, I'm finally doing something just for me- taking care of myself. Best of all, I'm feeling stronger- in all areas.
In the last few months I have lost 30 lbs. and went from wearing plus sizes to misses all without exercise, just watching what I'm eating and being in a highly stressful stage of my life. I guess you could count moving as exercise, especially with all our books! I've gone from a 18 Women's size (which is plus size) from December to a 14 Misses now. I can now pass by Lane Bryant or breeze right by the Women's section of any department store KNOWING that those clothes are too big for me. I never thought I would put this on our blog, I've never really posted pictures of myself or mentioned anything about my own body before. Life is better for me.
Camille is preparing for her standardized testing at the end of May, Danny is improving as well. I'm working about 37 hours a week right now and everyday life is hectic. It's very hard to work a varied schedule each week - if it weren't for my parents, I'd be a mess right now. They've been so helpful, especially my mom. I work 8-4 one day and then 3-10 the next and the schedule hasn't regulated yet. So on top of everything else, I'm looking for a new job. One that is more stable, 9-5 with benefits and decent pay. I've put out 12 resumes in the last week and I have an interview tomorrow for one. It has been a bit taxing on my mom having the kids while I'm at work. She's not used to it and the kids are still young. While she's adjusted to them, we will not live here forever and I don't want to put my parents in the position of having the kids all the time. It is a delicate balance for everyone and more times than not- it tilts. I don't have a social life right now other than going to the gym, I have met another homeschooling mom but we haven't gotten together very often.
All that can wait. I have high goals for myself (and the kids) for the time being and we're just getting used to our new life. I will be debt-free by the end of this year, or at least by the beginning of 2010. I don't want Murphy to come to visit although I know he will at some point. (Murphy's Law) Once I am debt-free and able to afford a place of our own I will move out of my parents' house- whether it be renting or buying a house is still to be determined. The future is so wide open right now, it's scary and exciting all at once. If we rent, I want to be able to save money for a down-payment on a house but someplace safe and kid-friendly.
The kids will be attending a classical academy (private school) in the fall, I will have a stable 9-5 job and hopefully things will just tick, tick, tick along into place. God has blessed us so much lately, I cannot express how grateful I am for His grace. We haven't been able to go to church because of my current varied work schedule but I think I've found one that we'll try when we get a chance.
Life is good, still stressful but good.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Hanging in There
A complete life change takes some getting used to, we're still working on developing routines and I'm in my first week of work at a new job. A lot of changes happening. I lost my digital camera in the move so I'll be without pictures for a little bit until either I find it or get a new one.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Settled?
Whirlwind.
We're 95% settled in, most of our belongings is in storage which I can access easily but it's strange living without the bulk of items we're used to having around us. I think the hardest thing so far is being a daughter and a mother all at the same time. As a daughter, I know what my parents' expectations are as far as behavior and what their habits are but as a mother, I know what the kids want and expect as well. We're all in transition.
Danny was attending a Montessori preschool in Georgia but there's only 5 weeks left of the school year. I could enroll him but it would be just temporary. I have found a school for both the kids, a private one, for next Fall. This is great news because I was worried about sending the kids to public school, Camille would change the most due to the influence of other kids but this private school is small and the days are short, 8:00 to 1:00. It is probably the closest academic structured school to what we were already doing at home that I'll find, especially for the cost. I'm going to look to see what other options are out there before I decide but I think we have a winner already.
Camille is working on preparing for the standardized test that she'll have in May, she's happy to be doing schoolwork again.
I will start my new job Sunday. Being at home with my mom all day is nice but I welcome another purpose to my day. I've been super busy unpacking, organizing, doing errands but once we're completely settled I know I'd go stir-crazy. I've had to remind myself numerous times that we're all in transition and everything going smoothly is not the norm. Things have been going pretty well considering all the changes we've gone through.
The kids have friends to play with across the street, my parents live in a cul-de-sac so the kids can freely ride their bikes in a safe environment without the constant danger of traffic, only the few residents drive down our street and they are aware of the kids playing. There is a huge, gigantic playground just 15 minutes away. I don't know the kid in this picture but the playground is shown somewhat.
So far everything is going well, as we get into new routines things will settle more. The kids are happy but adjusting and I've been too busy to really think about it all other than to thank our daily blessings that God has provided. I'm full of hope again for the future which has been sorely missed.
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