My first term of college is ending tomorrow and Monday starts a new term with one class. I've been juggling three classes this term and I'm burnt out. I need a break and time to settle into our new life with the kids being in school and moving into a new place.
I am so stinking excited to be moving into our own place, but I'm a little timid about it too. To be able to get our stuff out of storage and make a place for ourselves...to live by ourselves. Moving in with family should be a short-term solution, enough said about that.
Work is going well, I really enjoy my job and the people I work with. A co-worker just got promoted and I'm very happy for her, she's only been there a year and it's encouraging to see her moving upward and onward.
Dating has been interesting. I've learned so much about myself by dating others lately. I met someone that I was very attracted to and we dated for about two months but I realized the relationship wasn't what I wanted. Instead of settling, I said goodbye. It was hard, especially knowing that if I just accepted the circumstances, we could be together but I wouldn't be happy. I've learned a lot about chemistry and what I'm attracted to in another person. I've learned a lot about myself and some the pitfalls I've fallen into in the past and how to avoid them now. That is huge. So I can be sad about the ending of one relationship but excited about what could be and what's to come.
A few things I've learned:
1. You cannot change anyone.
Either accept them as they are or move on. Furthermore, do not date anyone who wishes to change you. Change comes from within a person, it cannot be external.
2. Keep your autonomy.
Dating someone doesn't mean becoming the person they want, it means being yourself and allowing the other person to be themself. I have a ton of responsibilities and a full life outside of dating, if the person who wants to date me doesn't understand that, then we can't date. Very simple. I don't expect anyone to drop their life for me either, or would I want them to.
3. Stay realistic.
It is so easy to become idealistic when you're excited about someone else. I've learned to keep my eyes and ears open to what is happening, to not become more invested than is necessary for the situation.
4. Know what you want.
This has been the hardest part for me, but knowing what type of relationship I'm looking for has helped tremendously. It helps narrow down the field.
5. Have fun.
No explanation needed.
Carnival of Homeschooling Week 206 Published
8 hours ago
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8 Comments, Click Here to Leave a Comment:
Jessica - I've been following your blog since your early days at the WTM forum - and I just want to say how much you amaze me. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I know your children will shine along with you. Congratulations on taking some horrible lemons, and making some wonderful lemonade.
Best wishes to you and the kids as you go forward, may God's light shine on all of you and make everything even brighter :)
Hello, lady! I haven't stopped by in a really long time, (because I'm super-duper busy) but I wanted to say hi.
It sounds like you're maturing and growing. That's both wonderful...and incredibly difficult. I remember when I came to the place of 'just being myself - warts and all'. It made all the difference and I ended up with the right man in the end.
Sounds like you're doing well. I've been praying for you.
Change is always challenging and exciting, whether the change is people or places. The hardest part for all of us, in my opinion, is staying true to yourself and no others can not change you (nor should they want to). Relationships are hard, be it with other women or men as suitors. Every relationship is a balancing act with each person's wants and desires weighted equally. I'm glad you are experiencing life to its fullest, yet keeping your feet firmly grounded. I'm excited about your move and know how difficult it is to return to your parent's home, but how sweet it is when you are able to fly again. Good luck!
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Sounds like you're getting to know yourself better and succeeding. Kudos to you :)
Jess,
I love your #1. When dh does premarital counseling with engaged couples the VERY first thing he asks them is, "Can you be happy with this person if s/he never changes one single bit from now until you die?" If the answer is no they have some pretty tough discussions.
I am glad that things are going well for you! It's great to get your updates. Keep 'em coming!
Jennefer
Hi Jessica, I haven't been here for a while and, oh my!, things have changed! I hope all is well. It sounds like you are working towards a very bright future. All the best!
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