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Sunday, December 6, 2009

2009 Recap

What a different life I lead than last year! The kids are doing well at private school but due to finances, next year they will go to public school. This year has flown by and it's been a rollercoaster ride- there have been thrilling hills climbed and thankfully only small downhills. For the most part it's been a boring rollercoaster and I couldn't be MORE thankful for that.

Just to recap during this time last year, I was working a part-time job at night to save money to leave and divorce my ex while homeschooling Camille during the day and Danny was going to a Montessori preschool. It was a tumultuous and stressful time but I felt positive because I was being proactive. I was in counseling and had just finished reading Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.

From January to March it was lawyers, juggling responsibilities and being unsure about what the future would hold for us. The kids and I moved in with my parents so I could get my feet back under me to support us after staying at home for 4 years. I worked as a retail manager until June when it was apparent that type of job was not best for me or the kids. I couldn't work 3-10pm one day and 7am-3pm the next. The kids would be starting school in July and I needed something more stable for them and myself. I was very blessed to find a job at a bank and be able to make a job change while most people couldn't find any work. (Let me rephrase that, couldn't find work that they wanted to do.)

It was also in June that I decided to date again, after a few horrible blind dates, I met a police officer who was a transplant from New Hampshire. I'm a Navy brat with two Northern parents, I was raised in the south. The good ole southern gentlemen with their thick accents, sole-minded interest in trucks, hunting, fishing, golf, southern football and beer just do not interest me, so Brian was a refreshing change. He had goals he was trying to accomplish just as I did and we did well to stay mindful of that. The time spent with Brian was good, I learned a lot about myself during the month and half that we dated while the kids were gone. Our road divided and we've gone our separate ways, he's still going after his goals and doing well. We're friends now and check in with each other every now and then.

My private dating life took a fabulous turn when I met Michael. I really didn't want to date him at all, he shares the same name as my ex. That was a HUGE factor against him and it took me a month to finally answer him. When we met, I had this insane urge to run my fingers through his hair (which I didn't do at that time) and I felt immediately at ease with him.

I hesitate writing anything about him, I don't want to sound like lovesick schoolgirl. I am in the best relationship I've ever had in my life. When two people accept each other as they are and celebrate each other's strengths - there is nothing else more precious. We've both had troubled relationships in the past and learned our lessons, with each other we're very conscious of what both of us needs. We are different in a lot of ways, such as I'm a planner and he's not. For some that wouldn't work but he appreciates knowing someone is thinking ahead and I appreciate the spontaneity that can occur when there isn't a plan or even the deviation from the plan. I'm pretty spontaneous myself but it works because we're both easy-going.

I could go on and on about how wonderful we are together. I could mention all the things I appreciate about him and all the benefits of being with someone who really understands you and wants the best for you, someone who respects and admires you even after they've seen you at your worst. Someone you can't wait to see at the end of the day, someone who you're comfortable just being with without feeling like you have to say or do something to make them happy. A healthy give and take relationship. Finally.

After 3 months, we still haven't had a fight or argument. We discuss things, we talk before anything escalates, we know when each other is upset and we both strive to take care of each other. I'm still blown away that he knows I'm upset before I utter a word. It's nice to have someone know you that well, it's what I've always wanted and never had. It can be frustrating too, I'm not used to having it all hang out there but I'm getting used to it. I guess that sums up my view of our relationship, I'm finally getting what I've always wanted and never had and it takes some adjustment and personal acceptance. Past relationship demons are taking their rest and being left where they belong, in the past.

To be able to give my all with someone who gives their all to me, there's nothing better. I'm in awe of the power of our relationship and now understand what others meant when they talked about their relationship with the same sentiments while I cynically secretly believed they were exaggerating the truth in some way because there's no way they can be THAT happy and content with another human being. They must have problems they aren't talking about. Now I'm part of one of those sickening, wonderful, loving relationships and I thank my lucky stars every day.

I'm ending 2009, happy and contentedly blessed in ways I never would have imagined or dreamed. It's been one helluva year and I can't wait to see what next year holds in store for us!

I'm trying to decide if I'm going to revamp this blog or just let it be as it is. While we still love nature study, we're no longer a homeschooling family, we're no longer Trivium Academy. We'll see.



Sylvia said...

Wow, Jessica, what a year! Your courage has really paid off. Good for you. Here's to more wonderful things for 2010!

aly in va said...

I'm so happy for you. You've been in my thoughts. I wish you continued happiness/success in all parts of your life.

April said...

It's so wonderful to hear from you again and hear that things are going so well for you:)
I do really hope that you will leave your blog as it is, but it's for personal reasons. I often refer to your past posts for assistance and also refer other homeschoolers here. Just a thought but maybe you could begin an additional blog that spins off from this one?

Wishing you guys a Merry Christmas and a really great coming new year:)

OrganicHomeEducator said...

I've been a lurker on your blog for years, and I think you should keep blogging! Even after I put my kids back into public school (due to my health problems after birth of baby #5), I remained a fervent advocate of parent involvement in education and even did a little summertime home study group with my children.

My children thrived in the public schools, thanks to the foundation I had given them at home, and so people kept coming to me for advice on how to help their own children who struggled (and many turned to homeschool as a result), so I think your message is still an important one as you continue on this journey of discovery both in education AND family life!

Our Family said...

Hey, Jedison. I'm going to have to think of a new name for you. I've been checking in to see if you updated your "life", and I'm glad to see that things are going smoother for you. Tell the kids hello from us. You wouldn't believe how big mine are. The oldest 3 are taller/heavier than I am! Take care and keep posting. Mean Ol' Mama in Bainbridge

Our Family said...

Hey, Jedison. I'm going to have to think of a new name for you. I've been checking in to see if you updated your "life", and I'm glad to see that things are going smoother for you. Tell the kids hello from us. You wouldn't believe how big mine are. The oldest 3 are taller/heavier than I am! Take care and keep posting. Mean Ol' Mama in Bainbridge

TednLisa said...

Great to see an update. I've been wondering how you all were doing.

Marsha said...

First, I'd like to say that whatever you decided about the blog is your decision. Do what you are comfortable doing.

Secondly, I am very glad that your year is ending on a high note. I don't think at the beginning of the year you would have ever dreamed it would end well. I'm happy for you.

Enjoy your new beginning with all it has to offer. Beware of the past sneaking up on you (minds work in mysterious ways). Most of all enjoy your children.

jennifer said...

YEAH!! Finally an update! I am always wondering about you, and praying for you. It is so good to hear how wonderful you are doing. You really are such an inspiration. You have truly taken a few lemons and made a wonderful lemonade with it. I pray that things continue to look up for you and your kiddo's!! Please keep updating your blog, not matter what the name is or if you homeschool or not... I just love hearing how you are doing!

Chris said...

Hi Jessica
Sure do miss you at WTM! I look every week to see if you have updated, and today got my wish!
Can you post a bit about your dc's curriculum at the private school? What have you noticed about the foundation you set for Camille and its effects (or non-effects)on her at school?
Mary still asks about you all. Pls keep blogging--you really inspire me, and I love hearing about your joys and discoveries.
Chris in VA

Mom31257 said...

It sounds like a challenging, but great year for you. I have enjoyed the many resources you have on your blog. I hope those will still be available, but I definitely understand you wanting to revamp it. It should reflect your life as it is now. I pray 2010 is blessed for you and yours.

CloseAcademy said...

I'm happy for you and send my best wishes your way for the future. I miss all your commentary and posts on TWTM boards but I am glad you are at a good place now.

Kristy said...

Congrats on all the healthy changes this year. I too hope that we (the blogosphere) will be able to still find all of the resources from your current blog, but do what you need to do!

Anonymous said...

So glad to read you are doing well. May God continue to bless you!!!


These Are The Days said...

Hi Jessica,

Good to meet you. I stumbled across your blog and couldn't stop reading. Congrats on making it through a hellish trial such as divorce (been there). I just wanted to tell you keep up the great work. Being proactive is so much better than sitting around in denial out of fear or whatever. Thanks for sharing. You are inspirational. :)

Anonymous said...

Good for you, Jessica! I think of you and your kiddos often and how different both of our lives were just a couple of short years ago. I know you must be incredibly busy and perhaps are even wondering who the heck this is (TarponGirl from WTM... we talked a handful of times and I always felt a good connection with you.)but it is nice to see the updates and progress in your life. God bless you guys! Email if you want/have time (

take care!

aka TarponGirl

heidi said...

I'm so glad life has given you new opportunities that are making you happy. Praying you keep your focus and strive towards your goals.

Online Degrees said...

I'm so happy for you. You've been in my thoughts. I wish you continued happiness/success in all parts of your life.

Louise said...

Have you quit blogging? I would still love to know how your life and kids are doing even though it is different than when you first started this.
I am glad it is all going well for you x

Roxanne said...

I'm glad things are turning out well for you. What an overcomer you are!

I would appreciate your leaving this information in some available fashion, if possible. If not, perhaps you could give us a headsup in enough time to copy information to keep?

Thanks for sharing all your hard work!

joancasilo said...

I have gone through this blog. I found it very interesting and helpful. Nowadays I am working from my home and studying in a reputed college.
So this blog really doing great for me.

work and study

christinemm said...

Hi Jessica! I was thinking of you the other day and couldn't remember the correct name of your blog and searched to no avail. I found it today as someone clicked through to my blog and I saw it on the SiteMeter (which I hardly ever glance at).

I am so happy you have found joy and so many great things have happened for you.

I am glad you are in a healthy relationship. It really affects a person. I am in one also but rarely discuss my husband or marriage on my blog out of privacy (his request). I know what you are saying about how different and great it is (compared to past relationships I've been in).

ENJOY THE CRUISE! Go to the beaches don't do the shopping that the cruise ships push on you.

BTW if you use a new blog URL you can put a link post here and let people navigate to the new one. Your blog was so homeschool focused that it makes sense to close one door and open a new one. People will still keep reading and finding your old posts here at Trivium Academy and will find them useful, so don't delete it!

Carolyn said...

Jessica, I'm so glad for you. When I sent you that book more than a year ago, I was thinking about you, and I still check and see how you're doing. I'm so glad you found a great person. I have that relationship with my husband, and I'm so happy you can experience and thrive in it too. Hugs :)