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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Goodness!

Goodness, this blog. It feels like a world away sometimes, a different life. The kids are about to spend over a week with other family members and I'm in 3 classes for college, working full-time and trying very hard to balance it all with a bit of a social life.

I'm in new territory in almost every area of my life, it's not always easy to know what the right way is, it seems like a constant battle to stick my arms out and balance myself. My emotions are rampant right now, everything is going so well but I'm a thinker. Those that read this blog know that I always have multiple things going on and that hasn't changed. My mind doesn't stop. I would love to blame it on being a woman but I know that's not the case, I've been told repeatedly lately to slow down, stop taking every so seriously or being so hard on myself by other women!

What I find utterly amazing is that I know myself. I know myself better than I thought I did. I need time to reflect, focus and refocus. I need silence sometimes and just BE without thinking about this, that or anything. I give everything my all and while that would be draining to others, it's freeing for me. I need time to reflect and write, something else that I've learned about myself...by spending time away from this blog. Unfortunately, I'm not willing or able to write everything here- somethings are meant to be personal.

I love music. Love, love, love music. I love rocking out while I work out, I love turning on a favorite cd and cleaning, and I feel a deep satisfaction from belting out songs in my car while driving down the road. I keep a 'theme' song in my mind, one that I can sing to myself when the mood strikes and currently it's my ring tone on my cell phone.

It's perfect for me, right now.

The Middle
Written by by Jimmy Eat World

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your headYou feel left out
or looked down on
Just try your best,
try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away

It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right

Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own
So don't buy in, live right now
Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if that's good enough
for someone else
It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right
It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head
You feel left out or looked down on
Just do your best, do everything you can
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts
are gonna say
It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right
Exhale. I'm moving on now to do my physical science work for college. Camille is reading Doctor Doolittle and Danny is getting better at writing his letters. We're doing fine, even better than fine...
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5 comments:

4in4 said...

Lovely message! And I LOVE that song! Best wishes in these pursuits.

Marsha said...

I'm glad to know things are going well, better than well. :)

Blondie said...

Good for you and welcome back!

my5wolfcubs said...

Hi Jessica!
Just wanted to stop by and say hi! You've made LOTS of changes. :) The very best mind clearing thing for me is a 1000 piece puzzle...I can't think of anything while searching for just *one* more piece!
Hope you're enjoying those college classes!
Lee

Becky L. said...

Wow. I haven't been here in a while. I've enjoyed catching up a bit. GREAT new picture up there, absolutely beautiful.
~Becky
LaMere Academy