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Thursday, August 7, 2008

It would make things easier but...

I can't send Danny to preschool somewhere else. It would be the easy answer, he would have someone else to listen to other than Mom all the time. We butt heads a lot, Danny and me. It has been a decision hanging in the air for a month now, whether to send Danny to preschool.

I have Horizons Preschool curriculum and I want to use it with him but that's not a deciding factor in this. I could use the curriculum even if he went to a preschool program. Another caveat I had was that if he was to go, it had to be part-time. I didn't want him in an all-day program all week long. We found a preschool that offers 2 or 3 days a week from 8:00 am -12:00 pm. When I discovered that there WAS a program that fit what I was looking for, it confused me even more.

Danny and I have good days and we have bad ones. He is just as sweet as he is stubborn- and he's just like his mom in a lot of ways. I wouldn't trade the snuggle time with him reading a book for anything. He narrates back to me, I read a book to him and then he says, "I do it," and flips back to the beginning and mumbles through the pages telling me the story, sometimes it's understandable and sometimes it's gibberish.

I have a feeling that preschool would probably do more good than harm for Danny. He has separation issues, tests my authority (all. the. time.), he's okay to play with other children for a short time but I'm not sure how he would do when he shares and interacts within a longer period. I told my dh that I would rather find an activity for Danny like soccer or karate than put him in preschool. Something that fulfills what we feel Danny needs plus PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. My goodness, I think he needs to RUN. Run, run, run. Tire him out please! Lol.

It would have been easy to put Danny in preschool. It would make teaching Camille's 3rd grade year a little easier too. I know God has a purpose in making Danny the way he is, I know there is a calling on my part to perhaps be a little more patient, consistent, creative and loving.



Mimi said...

I hope this will encourage you....I have twin little boys. The yrs 3-5 were SO hard. They were so strong willed, there were days I thought I would cry all day from frustration and exhaustion. The worst part was having a group of people always critiquing my parenting and making me feel like a bad mom. I persevered! Y'know what, I cannot believe the change in 1 yr! I made many mistakes in how I did things....but I must have done some things right(cuddling,playing w/,understanding that this is their personality, trying to find our family discipline) I love the books by Scott Turansky!! So, hang in there. It's a tough are doing fabulous. AND he's a boy!! :)

Jamie said...

Your son sounds a lot like my son (his code name is Wild Thing). He is so much easier to manage when he gets his running hour. The terrible twos were bad for us, and the terrible threes were worse. He has calmed down a lot since he turned 4, so hang in there.



Anonymous said...


For what it's worth, I did have my DS (now 5, then 4) in our church preschool 2 mornings a week last year, for all the reasons you cited. It truly helped give me a few hours a week where I could give my undivided attention to DS7, and DS4 loved it. I felt like those few hours gave me the ability to be more flexible the other days, when the little guy was right in the middle of things.

Whatever you decide, it will be okay!


Melinda said...

I know exactally what you are going through. I went through 10 years of home schooling my oldest, strong willed, little boy. I finally after struggling through 9th grade decided that he was going to public school. It was a hard decision and I felt like a huge failure but you know what? He was doing his work and learning again! I think he just needed someone else besides me to listen to. I say all this to say... I made it through 10 years... some days were great and fun and some not so much but we made it and I am sure you can too. I just assessed every year and asked God what we should do and kept plodding on til I just felt like God was telling me to let him go. Yep we still butt heads constantly but he is growing and maturing and becoming a godly man. That's all I ever wanted for him.

leesa said...

Sounds like your children are about a year younger than mine. Last year I did 3rd grade for my daughter and preschool for my son. This year we're doing 4th grade and kindergarten. My son is much more active than my daughter.. much! :) But after time they fall into the groove as well. For kindergarten my son is much more receptive than my daughter was at that age. They watch so much of what we're doing, those little ones. I never put my son in preschool, but did think of doing it a couple of times, however, I had an extra baby when he turned 3.. :) so we had lots of grooves to fall in to. I don't think I helped with an answer here, but I was trying to say that I relate to your dilemma and you are a good mom for considering all of the options that are best for your children. I'll keep you in my prayers.

mom24 said...

Know EXACTLY what you mean! Difference here is that mine is a girl and she's (5.5 yo now)only 18 months younger than my 1st.

We've always called her our "Little Bolt of Lightning" since she's beautiful, powerful and we never know when she'll strike! LOL! The emotional toll that raising this type of child can take can be great (oh, the time spent crying in the bathroom....) - but the Lord promises us reward for our work!

We DID put her in pre-k so that I could have another teacher's opinion on behavior and learning style before I dug in with Kindergarten. I can't tell you how much great stuff we learned from her pre-k year!

However, a physical activity could be just what you need in order to run some of that energy out of Danny so that he can focus on learning better. This is why he was given a mom like you! Your choice will be the right one for him!


Jennifer said...

My little boy is only 2, but he is SO much more energetic and physical than any of my girls ever were. Maybe it's a boy thing?? I have serious concerns about how I'm going to school my
4th, 1st, and Kindergartener while dealing with him and my 3 month old. I have considered putting him in a daycare/preschool setting a few mornings a week, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I want him around, I just want him to burn some energy off during the day and be a tad more sedate while we're busy working :) I hope you find the solution that works best for you and your family!! Know that you aren't alone in your struggles!!

Jennifer said...


You know your child best, and I strongly believe that God often speaks to mothers through their "gut feelings." I have commented before that I think your Danny is a lot like my Connor (who is 4.5). We had him in a church preschool for 2 years. The first year was a wonderful experience for him. He had a loving, kind teacher who had a special heart for Connor - she has a high-school-aged son much like our little guys, so I think she just saw the good along with the trying. Last year was not as positive. He still made some really wonderful little friends, but he'd cry that he didn't like school and wanted to be homeschooled. His teacher was a fine person, but she was not warm and fuzzy, she was no-nonsense and she just didn't adore our little class-clown. Also, I really thought the 3 hours he was in preschool would really help me get a lot accomplished with my 1st grader, but by the time we got Connor to school, drove home, and started on our work, we would have to turn around and go back to pick him up. I found it very disruptive to our schedule. I'm actually excited about the opportunity to have both boys home this year, although I am not naive, I know it will be difficult at times, but with the Lord's help, we'll make it through. Finally, I thought I'd mention that we have had better luck at non-competitive group activities like gymnastics and at local nature center classes - they have a number for preschool children with and without parents - than with organized team sports like soccer. The organized team sports seemed to bring out Connor's aggressive streak, which put me on edge and made the experience stressful for all of us. Just something to keep in mind.

God bless,

Barb-Harmony Art Mom said...


My best advice is...don't do it. Keep your spirited young boy home where you can nurture his interests and give him the freedom to run. Preschool teaches a lot of things but he needs you and your patience.

You will provide more physical activity than any preschool.

I know I sound like an old-timer but it just plain goes by too fast.

Spend a day at the preschool if you are not sure. Watch what happens when kids don't conform. Notice the quiet kids who get ignored. Pay attention to the attitudes and characters of the other children. Decide whether this is the environment that Danny will learn what you need him to learn.

Character issues are best taught at home under your guidance.

Believe it or not, Camille would probably miss him if he were gone to preschool. I know she wouldn't admit it but she really would. Danny may be a handful but he's your handful. :)

Barb-Harmony Art Mom (whose *active* child is now 14, almost 15)

Queen Bee said...

Oh my goodness, I completely relate!!! I call my youngest Wild Thing and Perpetual Motion (4yo DD). I always said I would put her in preschool but that I would only do it if it were part-time, but not too short of a time to make it inconvenient, etc. Just found out today that our local preschool added an hour so it would be the ideal timeframe (3.5 hours). And now I'm really confused. I also feel like she is teaching me patience, understanding, compassion, etc. But with three older sisters doing school, it would be so much easier!! I basically just wanted to say: I hear ya!

Kel said...

I know how you feel. My 3rd child Lucas was put here to teach me patience that's for sure. He's a complete ball of energy from sun up to sunset.
Congrats on all you've accomplished over the summer.