The kids have been gone all week and Camille won't be coming back until next week. I miss them terribly. A part of my heart is missing, a part of my daily life. I haven't had them BOTH gone at the same time for this length of time. I've enjoyed my time but it's time for them to be back!
I've got so much to do today, and gasp-I'm even loading up books to take to the thrift store because I have no energy or time to sell them online. I just want them gone, easy peasy. I'm shopping for school supplies and uniforms...I cannot believe that. Camille just turned nine, I cannot believe that either. Lol. We're celebrating her birthday when she gets back from her grandparents'.
I've spent this past week truly evaluating our life, what is good, what can be improved, what steps I need to take, what I feel the kids' need, etc. I got wrapped up in wanting to move out but after crunching the numbers for the 100th time, I can't. Not yet and I'm not foolish enough (thankfully) to take that step without some serious security and stability financially. I'm a highly passionate person and once I set my sights on a goal, watch out- I will obtain it. I needed to refocus on the goals I've already set instead of creating new ones. Hey, I get bored sometimes in the middle of obtaining an already set goal, especially if it is a long term one.
Gazelle intensity...I'm going to reread Total Money Makeover and get motivated again. It's hard. I've lost more weight and my clothes are falling off me- while that's good- it's not good for my wallet. I'm going to wait until I literally cannot wear the clothes I have before buying more, altering the current clothes I have may be the best way to overcome buying more clothes, too bad I don't know how to sew myself! Geesh, I guess I wasn't such a super homeschooler after all, I can't sew or bake bread. Lol.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
I miss them.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Goodness!
Goodness, this blog. It feels like a world away sometimes, a different life. The kids are about to spend over a week with other family members and I'm in 3 classes for college, working full-time and trying very hard to balance it all with a bit of a social life.
I'm in new territory in almost every area of my life, it's not always easy to know what the right way is, it seems like a constant battle to stick my arms out and balance myself. My emotions are rampant right now, everything is going so well but I'm a thinker. Those that read this blog know that I always have multiple things going on and that hasn't changed. My mind doesn't stop. I would love to blame it on being a woman but I know that's not the case, I've been told repeatedly lately to slow down, stop taking every so seriously or being so hard on myself by other women!
What I find utterly amazing is that I know myself. I know myself better than I thought I did. I need time to reflect, focus and refocus. I need silence sometimes and just BE without thinking about this, that or anything. I give everything my all and while that would be draining to others, it's freeing for me. I need time to reflect and write, something else that I've learned about myself...by spending time away from this blog. Unfortunately, I'm not willing or able to write everything here- somethings are meant to be personal.
I love music. Love, love, love music. I love rocking out while I work out, I love turning on a favorite cd and cleaning, and I feel a deep satisfaction from belting out songs in my car while driving down the road. I keep a 'theme' song in my mind, one that I can sing to myself when the mood strikes and currently it's my ring tone on my cell phone.
It's perfect for me, right now.
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It just takes some time, little girl
Hey, you know they're all the same
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
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